Thoughtful in Selah
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
True Happiness Dawns from a Sudden Realization
It's a long title I know. In case you missed it: "True Happiness Dawns from a Sudden Realization".
Any guesses at what I'm going to talk about?
yeah... so, here goes...
There was all this stuff about how I thought I liked a certain someone. Turns out, all my friends were really worried about the whole situation, and etc. It really felt right. And because of the timing with the death of Daniel, I knew it wasn't perfect, but it still felt like, 'I'm going to be careful here and I know this is what God is leading me into and so I'm going to follow it'. Turns out through a huge slap upside the head at midnight last night that that wasn't true whatsoever.
I suddenly realized that when Daniel died, it took a large part of me and it feels like half of me has been destroyed. And so, without even knowing it, I unconsciously began trying to fill in that missing piece with what I thought was right - or maybe, what I wanted to be right.
I was in a pretty somber mood today just thinking about this whole ordeal. I feel bad that it all turned out this way but I know we still know each other for a reason, whether or not it is for this reason. So I am much happier now that I know what to watch for. I think this is part of what was getting me so frustrated and angry.
**And when I changed my facebook status from "it's complicated" to "single", the only thing that I could do was smile a huge smile.
Any guesses at what I'm going to talk about?
yeah... so, here goes...
There was all this stuff about how I thought I liked a certain someone. Turns out, all my friends were really worried about the whole situation, and etc. It really felt right. And because of the timing with the death of Daniel, I knew it wasn't perfect, but it still felt like, 'I'm going to be careful here and I know this is what God is leading me into and so I'm going to follow it'. Turns out through a huge slap upside the head at midnight last night that that wasn't true whatsoever.
I suddenly realized that when Daniel died, it took a large part of me and it feels like half of me has been destroyed. And so, without even knowing it, I unconsciously began trying to fill in that missing piece with what I thought was right - or maybe, what I wanted to be right.
I was in a pretty somber mood today just thinking about this whole ordeal. I feel bad that it all turned out this way but I know we still know each other for a reason, whether or not it is for this reason. So I am much happier now that I know what to watch for. I think this is part of what was getting me so frustrated and angry.
**And when I changed my facebook status from "it's complicated" to "single", the only thing that I could do was smile a huge smile.
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