Thoughtful in Selah
Monday, December 8, 2008
Conversing With God
I apologize for neglecting this blog for quite some time. I have been posting most of my entires on my facebook. For those of you who only read posts here, I think I will catch you up to pace with some of my most recent posts. Beginning with one that I wrote yesterday titled "Conversing with God"
I really have not had a good week spiritually. It was probably the worst I have ever had it. But last night I was getting sick of it and so I started praying before I went to sleep. One thing that me and my accountability partner's have been praying for is the ability to have dreams at night, because com'on, wouldn't that be cool? So I was praying and I just said, "God, I need a bit of encouragement, so I pray that You would speak to me tonight." Well right after I finished praying I heard someone call my name. At first I thought I was just making it up, but it kept persisting. It was a quiet, calm, deep voice with a small echo trailing after. I'm serious. I kept hearing my name and so I replied, "God, if You are speaking, Your servant is listening."
Next I heard Him say, "Open your Bible to Romans, chapter 6, verse 23." This was about midnight last night and I had already gone to bed, but being faithful I said, "I'm going to walk by faith and trust that this is really God telling me all this." I realize that everyone should know what Romans 6:23 is but because it was really late, I temporarily forgot it.
"For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord."
I sat and pondered this for a minute. At first I was terrified because I felt like I deserved to die for what I had been doing. I was not living the life that God wanted me to and now I felt like he was going to take revenge. But that's not what the Spirit said. Instead, He was saying this, "You need to realize that sin is a very serious thing and I absolutely despise it. But I'm only reminding you of that. Instead I want you to focus on the fact that keeping right with me, though it may be difficult, will pay off and you will be blessed with the greatest gift ever!"
I was still kind of scared that God himself pointed me to a verse that made me feel like I was basically unworthy of living (so to speak). So he gave me one more verse. He said, "Now go an look up Ephesians 3:13." I had studied Ephesians before but I couldn't remember anything out of it so I turned there right away. Remind you that I was just praying about needing encouragement from the Lord.
"I ask you, therefore, not to be discouraged because of my suffering for you, which are your glory."
If your sitting there scratching your head wondering how that has anything to do with the situation here, don't worry, I didn't understand it either. I said, "I don't understand what your telling me here God." He explained to me that basically the point was not to be discouraged. He said that when the world doesn't seem fair and there are circumstances that just seem to be ruining your life, like Jesus' crucification, He did that for us and we should be proud that he loves us to that extreme.
I was quiet for a few more minutes and I didn't hear anything so I literally asked God as if he was sitting at the edge of my bed, "Do You have anything else to say?" His response was, and I quote verbatim, "No. Now go to sleep and you will have a restful night for I am the One who gives you peace."
Wow.
I was still curious, though, and I went back to the original topic of dreams. "God, will You give me dreams tonight?" He replied, and again, verbatim, "No, for you are not ready yet." Being the impatient and minimal understanding human, I pursued further and asked, "When will I be ready?" and He replied, "You will be ready when you take steps of faith that you never thought possible."
Was I disappointed that I didn't have any powerful dreams last night? No, I wasn't. However I was more motivated to think that God wants to use me even MORE! God told me himself, clearly, that He had plans for me that I'm not even ready to take on yet.
I apologize for the length of this note but I want to share the conversation that I had this morning too.
I can't quite remember how the conversation started but I do remember God saying, "Remember that you must take great steps of faith to work towards my return to Earth. You are the salt of the Earth and I want you to make it pleasing to me. I have created you to share my beauty and love and spread my kisses." I'm totally serious God said that this morning. ...and a shout out to Kurt right here with 'God's Kisses'. I decided to take somewhat of a daring move and so I asked God, "When will we see you return again?" Not to go into eschatology here but he replied and this was the last thing he told me, "You will see my return when the sun turns to golden rain." ...and what that means, I have no clue.
I really have not had a good week spiritually. It was probably the worst I have ever had it. But last night I was getting sick of it and so I started praying before I went to sleep. One thing that me and my accountability partner's have been praying for is the ability to have dreams at night, because com'on, wouldn't that be cool? So I was praying and I just said, "God, I need a bit of encouragement, so I pray that You would speak to me tonight." Well right after I finished praying I heard someone call my name. At first I thought I was just making it up, but it kept persisting. It was a quiet, calm, deep voice with a small echo trailing after. I'm serious. I kept hearing my name and so I replied, "God, if You are speaking, Your servant is listening."
Next I heard Him say, "Open your Bible to Romans, chapter 6, verse 23." This was about midnight last night and I had already gone to bed, but being faithful I said, "I'm going to walk by faith and trust that this is really God telling me all this." I realize that everyone should know what Romans 6:23 is but because it was really late, I temporarily forgot it.
"For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord."
I sat and pondered this for a minute. At first I was terrified because I felt like I deserved to die for what I had been doing. I was not living the life that God wanted me to and now I felt like he was going to take revenge. But that's not what the Spirit said. Instead, He was saying this, "You need to realize that sin is a very serious thing and I absolutely despise it. But I'm only reminding you of that. Instead I want you to focus on the fact that keeping right with me, though it may be difficult, will pay off and you will be blessed with the greatest gift ever!"
I was still kind of scared that God himself pointed me to a verse that made me feel like I was basically unworthy of living (so to speak). So he gave me one more verse. He said, "Now go an look up Ephesians 3:13." I had studied Ephesians before but I couldn't remember anything out of it so I turned there right away. Remind you that I was just praying about needing encouragement from the Lord.
"I ask you, therefore, not to be discouraged because of my suffering for you, which are your glory."
If your sitting there scratching your head wondering how that has anything to do with the situation here, don't worry, I didn't understand it either. I said, "I don't understand what your telling me here God." He explained to me that basically the point was not to be discouraged. He said that when the world doesn't seem fair and there are circumstances that just seem to be ruining your life, like Jesus' crucification, He did that for us and we should be proud that he loves us to that extreme.
I was quiet for a few more minutes and I didn't hear anything so I literally asked God as if he was sitting at the edge of my bed, "Do You have anything else to say?" His response was, and I quote verbatim, "No. Now go to sleep and you will have a restful night for I am the One who gives you peace."
Wow.
I was still curious, though, and I went back to the original topic of dreams. "God, will You give me dreams tonight?" He replied, and again, verbatim, "No, for you are not ready yet." Being the impatient and minimal understanding human, I pursued further and asked, "When will I be ready?" and He replied, "You will be ready when you take steps of faith that you never thought possible."
Was I disappointed that I didn't have any powerful dreams last night? No, I wasn't. However I was more motivated to think that God wants to use me even MORE! God told me himself, clearly, that He had plans for me that I'm not even ready to take on yet.
I apologize for the length of this note but I want to share the conversation that I had this morning too.
I can't quite remember how the conversation started but I do remember God saying, "Remember that you must take great steps of faith to work towards my return to Earth. You are the salt of the Earth and I want you to make it pleasing to me. I have created you to share my beauty and love and spread my kisses." I'm totally serious God said that this morning. ...and a shout out to Kurt right here with 'God's Kisses'. I decided to take somewhat of a daring move and so I asked God, "When will we see you return again?" Not to go into eschatology here but he replied and this was the last thing he told me, "You will see my return when the sun turns to golden rain." ...and what that means, I have no clue.
Labels: Conversations with God, Posts of my Faith
