Thoughtful in Selah
Monday, December 8, 2008
Conversing With God
I apologize for neglecting this blog for quite some time. I have been posting most of my entires on my facebook. For those of you who only read posts here, I think I will catch you up to pace with some of my most recent posts. Beginning with one that I wrote yesterday titled "Conversing with God"
I really have not had a good week spiritually. It was probably the worst I have ever had it. But last night I was getting sick of it and so I started praying before I went to sleep. One thing that me and my accountability partner's have been praying for is the ability to have dreams at night, because com'on, wouldn't that be cool? So I was praying and I just said, "God, I need a bit of encouragement, so I pray that You would speak to me tonight." Well right after I finished praying I heard someone call my name. At first I thought I was just making it up, but it kept persisting. It was a quiet, calm, deep voice with a small echo trailing after. I'm serious. I kept hearing my name and so I replied, "God, if You are speaking, Your servant is listening."
Next I heard Him say, "Open your Bible to Romans, chapter 6, verse 23." This was about midnight last night and I had already gone to bed, but being faithful I said, "I'm going to walk by faith and trust that this is really God telling me all this." I realize that everyone should know what Romans 6:23 is but because it was really late, I temporarily forgot it.
"For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord."
I sat and pondered this for a minute. At first I was terrified because I felt like I deserved to die for what I had been doing. I was not living the life that God wanted me to and now I felt like he was going to take revenge. But that's not what the Spirit said. Instead, He was saying this, "You need to realize that sin is a very serious thing and I absolutely despise it. But I'm only reminding you of that. Instead I want you to focus on the fact that keeping right with me, though it may be difficult, will pay off and you will be blessed with the greatest gift ever!"
I was still kind of scared that God himself pointed me to a verse that made me feel like I was basically unworthy of living (so to speak). So he gave me one more verse. He said, "Now go an look up Ephesians 3:13." I had studied Ephesians before but I couldn't remember anything out of it so I turned there right away. Remind you that I was just praying about needing encouragement from the Lord.
"I ask you, therefore, not to be discouraged because of my suffering for you, which are your glory."
If your sitting there scratching your head wondering how that has anything to do with the situation here, don't worry, I didn't understand it either. I said, "I don't understand what your telling me here God." He explained to me that basically the point was not to be discouraged. He said that when the world doesn't seem fair and there are circumstances that just seem to be ruining your life, like Jesus' crucification, He did that for us and we should be proud that he loves us to that extreme.
I was quiet for a few more minutes and I didn't hear anything so I literally asked God as if he was sitting at the edge of my bed, "Do You have anything else to say?" His response was, and I quote verbatim, "No. Now go to sleep and you will have a restful night for I am the One who gives you peace."
Wow.
I was still curious, though, and I went back to the original topic of dreams. "God, will You give me dreams tonight?" He replied, and again, verbatim, "No, for you are not ready yet." Being the impatient and minimal understanding human, I pursued further and asked, "When will I be ready?" and He replied, "You will be ready when you take steps of faith that you never thought possible."
Was I disappointed that I didn't have any powerful dreams last night? No, I wasn't. However I was more motivated to think that God wants to use me even MORE! God told me himself, clearly, that He had plans for me that I'm not even ready to take on yet.
I apologize for the length of this note but I want to share the conversation that I had this morning too.
I can't quite remember how the conversation started but I do remember God saying, "Remember that you must take great steps of faith to work towards my return to Earth. You are the salt of the Earth and I want you to make it pleasing to me. I have created you to share my beauty and love and spread my kisses." I'm totally serious God said that this morning. ...and a shout out to Kurt right here with 'God's Kisses'. I decided to take somewhat of a daring move and so I asked God, "When will we see you return again?" Not to go into eschatology here but he replied and this was the last thing he told me, "You will see my return when the sun turns to golden rain." ...and what that means, I have no clue.
I really have not had a good week spiritually. It was probably the worst I have ever had it. But last night I was getting sick of it and so I started praying before I went to sleep. One thing that me and my accountability partner's have been praying for is the ability to have dreams at night, because com'on, wouldn't that be cool? So I was praying and I just said, "God, I need a bit of encouragement, so I pray that You would speak to me tonight." Well right after I finished praying I heard someone call my name. At first I thought I was just making it up, but it kept persisting. It was a quiet, calm, deep voice with a small echo trailing after. I'm serious. I kept hearing my name and so I replied, "God, if You are speaking, Your servant is listening."
Next I heard Him say, "Open your Bible to Romans, chapter 6, verse 23." This was about midnight last night and I had already gone to bed, but being faithful I said, "I'm going to walk by faith and trust that this is really God telling me all this." I realize that everyone should know what Romans 6:23 is but because it was really late, I temporarily forgot it.
"For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord."
I sat and pondered this for a minute. At first I was terrified because I felt like I deserved to die for what I had been doing. I was not living the life that God wanted me to and now I felt like he was going to take revenge. But that's not what the Spirit said. Instead, He was saying this, "You need to realize that sin is a very serious thing and I absolutely despise it. But I'm only reminding you of that. Instead I want you to focus on the fact that keeping right with me, though it may be difficult, will pay off and you will be blessed with the greatest gift ever!"
I was still kind of scared that God himself pointed me to a verse that made me feel like I was basically unworthy of living (so to speak). So he gave me one more verse. He said, "Now go an look up Ephesians 3:13." I had studied Ephesians before but I couldn't remember anything out of it so I turned there right away. Remind you that I was just praying about needing encouragement from the Lord.
"I ask you, therefore, not to be discouraged because of my suffering for you, which are your glory."
If your sitting there scratching your head wondering how that has anything to do with the situation here, don't worry, I didn't understand it either. I said, "I don't understand what your telling me here God." He explained to me that basically the point was not to be discouraged. He said that when the world doesn't seem fair and there are circumstances that just seem to be ruining your life, like Jesus' crucification, He did that for us and we should be proud that he loves us to that extreme.
I was quiet for a few more minutes and I didn't hear anything so I literally asked God as if he was sitting at the edge of my bed, "Do You have anything else to say?" His response was, and I quote verbatim, "No. Now go to sleep and you will have a restful night for I am the One who gives you peace."
Wow.
I was still curious, though, and I went back to the original topic of dreams. "God, will You give me dreams tonight?" He replied, and again, verbatim, "No, for you are not ready yet." Being the impatient and minimal understanding human, I pursued further and asked, "When will I be ready?" and He replied, "You will be ready when you take steps of faith that you never thought possible."
Was I disappointed that I didn't have any powerful dreams last night? No, I wasn't. However I was more motivated to think that God wants to use me even MORE! God told me himself, clearly, that He had plans for me that I'm not even ready to take on yet.
I apologize for the length of this note but I want to share the conversation that I had this morning too.
I can't quite remember how the conversation started but I do remember God saying, "Remember that you must take great steps of faith to work towards my return to Earth. You are the salt of the Earth and I want you to make it pleasing to me. I have created you to share my beauty and love and spread my kisses." I'm totally serious God said that this morning. ...and a shout out to Kurt right here with 'God's Kisses'. I decided to take somewhat of a daring move and so I asked God, "When will we see you return again?" Not to go into eschatology here but he replied and this was the last thing he told me, "You will see my return when the sun turns to golden rain." ...and what that means, I have no clue.
Labels: Conversations with God, Posts of my Faith
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Satan is Losing - Jesus is the Winna, Mon
Hang onto your hats ladies and gentleman, God is moving big in my life. He just now re-ignited His Fire within me and I've started randomly speaking in Tongues again - praise the Lord, and he is really giving me a lot of stuff to share with you all. I realize that this is the second post in one day, but it is going to be a spectacular one!
First of all, I really feel completely set free. I have an emptiness that only the Holy Spirit can bring. Hallelujah!
Secondly, because of this, I want to share everything that Lord is trying to spill out of me and it keeps coming too fast so hold on while I try and overflow here..........
God told me to look up some scriptures pertaining to Joy - go figure. I found 25 instances of expressing joy in the Bible and two caught my attention. I think you will be astonished at how God is going to use them.
1. 1 Samuel 18:6
6 When the men were returning home after David had killed the Philistine, the women came out from all the towns of Israel to meet King Saul with singing and dancing, with joyful songs and with tambourines and lutes.
I just listened to Nathan Issac's teaching from the GenOne conference in D.C. and he was talking about a pattern in the Bible where enemies have killed themselves with the weapons setup to destroy us. So this particular passage applies great here as one of Nathan's examples was David and Goliath. See Goliath was supposed to take on David and his goal was to kill David with his gigantic sword. Well it ended up being Goliath's sword that took of Goliath's head. It is the weapon of the enemy that kills the enemy. And just like I was referring to in one of my latter posts, my worship is my shield and that is what the enemy is attacking. And it is the weapon used in that attack that has defeated him! So from this passage, it is the joyful songs - which I am now singing - with worship that has defeated my enemy.
2. Ezra 3:11-13
11 With praise and thanksgiving they sang to the LORD :
"He is good;
his love to Israel endures forever."
And all the people gave a great shout of praise to the LORD, because the foundation of the house of the LORD was laid. 12 But many of the older priests and Levites and family heads, who had seen the former temple, wept aloud when they saw the foundation of this temple being laid, while many others shouted for joy. 13 No one could distinguish the sound of the shouts of joy from the sound of weeping, because the people made so much noise. And the sound was heard far away.
See the connection? Neither did I until the Lord reminded me of another verse: 1 Corinthians 6:19 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own.
wow...
So it is almost like this huge cleaning that has taken place, where the Holy Spirit has moved in my life again and it is almost like rebuilding my temple into a new clean slate. So because I am a child of God, I rejoice with joy that God has blessed me with a new foundation for a new temple - so to speak.
again, wow...
I think you can meditate on that for awhile because I can't explain it any better. Also part of this note is the following link. It will take you to rhapsody that will play a song by Ron Kenoly that I find perfect at this moment. http://www.rhapsody.com/goto?rcid=tra.22856937
First of all, I really feel completely set free. I have an emptiness that only the Holy Spirit can bring. Hallelujah!
Secondly, because of this, I want to share everything that Lord is trying to spill out of me and it keeps coming too fast so hold on while I try and overflow here..........
God told me to look up some scriptures pertaining to Joy - go figure. I found 25 instances of expressing joy in the Bible and two caught my attention. I think you will be astonished at how God is going to use them.
1. 1 Samuel 18:6
6 When the men were returning home after David had killed the Philistine, the women came out from all the towns of Israel to meet King Saul with singing and dancing, with joyful songs and with tambourines and lutes.
I just listened to Nathan Issac's teaching from the GenOne conference in D.C. and he was talking about a pattern in the Bible where enemies have killed themselves with the weapons setup to destroy us. So this particular passage applies great here as one of Nathan's examples was David and Goliath. See Goliath was supposed to take on David and his goal was to kill David with his gigantic sword. Well it ended up being Goliath's sword that took of Goliath's head. It is the weapon of the enemy that kills the enemy. And just like I was referring to in one of my latter posts, my worship is my shield and that is what the enemy is attacking. And it is the weapon used in that attack that has defeated him! So from this passage, it is the joyful songs - which I am now singing - with worship that has defeated my enemy.
2. Ezra 3:11-13
11 With praise and thanksgiving they sang to the LORD :
"He is good;
his love to Israel endures forever."
And all the people gave a great shout of praise to the LORD, because the foundation of the house of the LORD was laid. 12 But many of the older priests and Levites and family heads, who had seen the former temple, wept aloud when they saw the foundation of this temple being laid, while many others shouted for joy. 13 No one could distinguish the sound of the shouts of joy from the sound of weeping, because the people made so much noise. And the sound was heard far away.
See the connection? Neither did I until the Lord reminded me of another verse: 1 Corinthians 6:19 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own.
wow...
So it is almost like this huge cleaning that has taken place, where the Holy Spirit has moved in my life again and it is almost like rebuilding my temple into a new clean slate. So because I am a child of God, I rejoice with joy that God has blessed me with a new foundation for a new temple - so to speak.
again, wow...
I think you can meditate on that for awhile because I can't explain it any better. Also part of this note is the following link. It will take you to rhapsody that will play a song by Ron Kenoly that I find perfect at this moment. http://www.rhapsody.com/go
Labels: Posts of my Faith
True Happiness Dawns from a Sudden Realization
It's a long title I know. In case you missed it: "True Happiness Dawns from a Sudden Realization".
Any guesses at what I'm going to talk about?
yeah... so, here goes...
There was all this stuff about how I thought I liked a certain someone. Turns out, all my friends were really worried about the whole situation, and etc. It really felt right. And because of the timing with the death of Daniel, I knew it wasn't perfect, but it still felt like, 'I'm going to be careful here and I know this is what God is leading me into and so I'm going to follow it'. Turns out through a huge slap upside the head at midnight last night that that wasn't true whatsoever.
I suddenly realized that when Daniel died, it took a large part of me and it feels like half of me has been destroyed. And so, without even knowing it, I unconsciously began trying to fill in that missing piece with what I thought was right - or maybe, what I wanted to be right.
I was in a pretty somber mood today just thinking about this whole ordeal. I feel bad that it all turned out this way but I know we still know each other for a reason, whether or not it is for this reason. So I am much happier now that I know what to watch for. I think this is part of what was getting me so frustrated and angry.
**And when I changed my facebook status from "it's complicated" to "single", the only thing that I could do was smile a huge smile.
Any guesses at what I'm going to talk about?
yeah... so, here goes...
There was all this stuff about how I thought I liked a certain someone. Turns out, all my friends were really worried about the whole situation, and etc. It really felt right. And because of the timing with the death of Daniel, I knew it wasn't perfect, but it still felt like, 'I'm going to be careful here and I know this is what God is leading me into and so I'm going to follow it'. Turns out through a huge slap upside the head at midnight last night that that wasn't true whatsoever.
I suddenly realized that when Daniel died, it took a large part of me and it feels like half of me has been destroyed. And so, without even knowing it, I unconsciously began trying to fill in that missing piece with what I thought was right - or maybe, what I wanted to be right.
I was in a pretty somber mood today just thinking about this whole ordeal. I feel bad that it all turned out this way but I know we still know each other for a reason, whether or not it is for this reason. So I am much happier now that I know what to watch for. I think this is part of what was getting me so frustrated and angry.
**And when I changed my facebook status from "it's complicated" to "single", the only thing that I could do was smile a huge smile.
What to do with myself?
I am at a point currently in my emotional storm where I have nothing better to do at which case all I can do is just vent.
As a forewarning, I will be stepping on toes, standing on my soap box and passing out a lot of pennies as I give more than just my two cents.
All I can say is that it is not fair. But that doesn't do it justice. It is a satanic attack aimed at my heart and geared towards my emotional destruction. The thief in the night came with brutal force and he knocked me down hard. I'm here in the middle of this chaotic highway in the middle of a down pour and I'm calling out with everything that I have, so loudly, that it is physically hurting. "My Lord, My God, where are you? I need help! I feel so ashamedly selfish and mournfully arrogant that I feel like I can get up myself... but I need Your Spirit to tear down my pride, and to break the spiritual forces of religion that keep me inside of my box and I need Your help, oh Lord! Abba Father! I cry on my hands and knees for Your hand to uphold me!"
Here's where the strong words come: Everyone keeps saying, I know Daniel is here and I know he can still hear us and he is with us, etc. I'm not sure if I believe that. I know Daniel is in heaven but I doubt he is actually here with us. Even though it is a comfort thing, I just am not sure about that. I keep trying to cry out to God to really help me break through this trial but it seems like my voice is just fading away. I keep finding it hard to really feel God like I have at TheCall and other conferences.
God keeps pointing me to this chapter of the bible but just now, he showed me some verses from the first part of the chapter. In Colossians 3, God keeps showing me verses 15-17 (which I will get to later - I'll even quote it for you below) but this time he called me to verses 1-4:
" 1Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. 2Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. 3For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. 4When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. "
.... **sigh** ...I guess I'm just frustrated.
I don't know what to think really. Here is says that we just really need to keep focusing that everything is alright - that it is all part of God's plan. 'Keep looking up and keep pressing in.' So we have been born again in Christ, so now that we are living in Him, we are that much closer to the angels in heaven - that being, our Daniel.
.....***"Oh, what I would give to hear his voice again"
So God tells us to keep pressing in, right? Here's verses 15-17:
15Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. 16Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. 17And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
'We will reach peace in Him when we sing psalms, hymns, praises, spiritual songs.' So we all need peace! So let's get into worship! Well right now it just seems that WE CAN'T! An attack is being made on our spiritual lives in our very worship!
After sharing my testimony of TheCall at my church, someone frantically came up to me telling me that God told them specifically to tell me "to guard your heart." I thought, 'thanks for your concern but my friends and I worship nearly every other two days - I think I'm good'. Well that's just it! The very thing that was supposed to be shielding us from the weapons of the enemy is the very thing that the enemy is trying to tear down. First he's working to break the shields so then he can come and destroy us as we are defenseless - HOW LOW!!! That is just so--------AH! I'm so mad I am literally screaming in my head and my spirit is enraged!
It seems that every time we try and get together, it is a culmination of all of these little distractions that forces our worship to end early or prevents me from really diving into it. I don't know about you guys, but I need a spiritual exorcision - a removal from all crap down inside - and I need a revival just like TheCall to come. Honestly, I was pretty torqued that we had to cut it short on Saturday night. I felt that we were on a verge of a break through after one or two songs and it didn't happen because no one wanted to participate in the last song.
Spirit of religion - I'm calling you out. You have no place in my temple, that is, the Lord house. I am a vessel of the Lord, God Almighty and you have no control over me. I will worship freely and truly dive into such a spiritual movement that I will meet the Lord in a powerful explosion of praise. No more will worship be under your constraints, and no longer will you hold me back. Traditions and strict methods are destroyed in the name of Jesus so we can come to Jehovah Jirah with the chains broken.
After all of this had been laid on my heart, this song came on the radio just as I started my car:
http://www.rhapsody.com/goto?rcid=tra.3321397
As a forewarning, I will be stepping on toes, standing on my soap box and passing out a lot of pennies as I give more than just my two cents.
All I can say is that it is not fair. But that doesn't do it justice. It is a satanic attack aimed at my heart and geared towards my emotional destruction. The thief in the night came with brutal force and he knocked me down hard. I'm here in the middle of this chaotic highway in the middle of a down pour and I'm calling out with everything that I have, so loudly, that it is physically hurting. "My Lord, My God, where are you? I need help! I feel so ashamedly selfish and mournfully arrogant that I feel like I can get up myself... but I need Your Spirit to tear down my pride, and to break the spiritual forces of religion that keep me inside of my box and I need Your help, oh Lord! Abba Father! I cry on my hands and knees for Your hand to uphold me!"
Here's where the strong words come: Everyone keeps saying, I know Daniel is here and I know he can still hear us and he is with us, etc. I'm not sure if I believe that. I know Daniel is in heaven but I doubt he is actually here with us. Even though it is a comfort thing, I just am not sure about that. I keep trying to cry out to God to really help me break through this trial but it seems like my voice is just fading away. I keep finding it hard to really feel God like I have at TheCall and other conferences.
God keeps pointing me to this chapter of the bible but just now, he showed me some verses from the first part of the chapter. In Colossians 3, God keeps showing me verses 15-17 (which I will get to later - I'll even quote it for you below) but this time he called me to verses 1-4:
" 1Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. 2Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. 3For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. 4When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. "
.... **sigh** ...I guess I'm just frustrated.
I don't know what to think really. Here is says that we just really need to keep focusing that everything is alright - that it is all part of God's plan. 'Keep looking up and keep pressing in.' So we have been born again in Christ, so now that we are living in Him, we are that much closer to the angels in heaven - that being, our Daniel.
.....***"Oh, what I would give to hear his voice again"
So God tells us to keep pressing in, right? Here's verses 15-17:
15Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. 16Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. 17And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
'We will reach peace in Him when we sing psalms, hymns, praises, spiritual songs.' So we all need peace! So let's get into worship! Well right now it just seems that WE CAN'T! An attack is being made on our spiritual lives in our very worship!
After sharing my testimony of TheCall at my church, someone frantically came up to me telling me that God told them specifically to tell me "to guard your heart." I thought, 'thanks for your concern but my friends and I worship nearly every other two days - I think I'm good'. Well that's just it! The very thing that was supposed to be shielding us from the weapons of the enemy is the very thing that the enemy is trying to tear down. First he's working to break the shields so then he can come and destroy us as we are defenseless - HOW LOW!!! That is just so--------AH! I'm so mad I am literally screaming in my head and my spirit is enraged!
It seems that every time we try and get together, it is a culmination of all of these little distractions that forces our worship to end early or prevents me from really diving into it. I don't know about you guys, but I need a spiritual exorcision - a removal from all crap down inside - and I need a revival just like TheCall to come. Honestly, I was pretty torqued that we had to cut it short on Saturday night. I felt that we were on a verge of a break through after one or two songs and it didn't happen because no one wanted to participate in the last song.
Spirit of religion - I'm calling you out. You have no place in my temple, that is, the Lord house. I am a vessel of the Lord, God Almighty and you have no control over me. I will worship freely and truly dive into such a spiritual movement that I will meet the Lord in a powerful explosion of praise. No more will worship be under your constraints, and no longer will you hold me back. Traditions and strict methods are destroyed in the name of Jesus so we can come to Jehovah Jirah with the chains broken.
After all of this had been laid on my heart, this song came on the radio just as I started my car:
http://www.rhapsody.com/go
Labels: Posts of my Faith
Leaving a legacy, leaving a mantle
I wasn't sure exactly how all this would come out, but I feel that it is time to share my thoughts and recent experiences with everyone. Normally I would post this all on my blog but I want people to easily be able to find it here on facebook. All of this is going to be scattered a little but I'm trying to catch everything that I want - that I need to get out.
After TheCall, I was on a major spiritual high considering I was just infilled with the Holy Spirit and I now have the gift of speaking in Tounges. Well all of that kinda came crashing down the morning I heard that Daniel was killed. Most people don't know it but Daniel was my best friend and I feel like I can honestly say that I was his too. For about a week, there was just nothing I wanted to do and grief was overwhelmingly taking over.
Just the other day I read about the five stages of grieving.
1. Denial/Surrealism - This isn't happening, I can't comprehend nor grasp it
2. Questioning - Why is this happening to me?
3. Anger - THIS ISN'T FAIR
4. Depression - No motivation and deep mourning
5. Acceptance - I'm ok with it all now
I moved through the first three stages all in about two hours that Thursday morning. However, a heavy depression began setting in to the point where I started withdrawing inside of myself and I had horrible thoughts and I started being mean to my friends and I just didn't want to talk about it at all.
One week later at Remain (which is my youth group on Thursday night) my youth leader thought it was best that we share with everyone on exactly how we had been feeling. It was a bad night for me. I just really felt that it was all too soon. I had said it a couple times that Sunday after the funeral that I didn't want the burial to come and go because I was afraid that all would be said and done and things would move on and all would be forgotten. I was terrified of this happening.
Afterwards, Marriana and Jordan and myself went over to Jordan's house and we were talking in my car and he started praying over me for comfort and that I would have God's Fire again. I began feeling such a powerful embrace and holy presence that was so calming that I've NEVER felt before. My fire just lit up so bright at that point and God moved HUGE! I began speaking in Tongues like I never have before. God even delivered a message through my mouth between four people!
At this point I was doing so much better and I still am now that my Fire is back. I am not, however, to stage five of the grieving process though. I have not exactly come to terms on acceptance - and I don't know if I will ever be able to.
-----------------------
Through this whole time, everyone has been telling me about how Daniel had this amazing mantle that he left behind and that I would be the one to pick it up and run with it. This is just really powerful to me. Obviously I cannot replace Daniel in personality or spirit but I feel like I am the one to continue on his ministry to others in worship. Ever since this, my worship has been so much more powerful - and frequent for that matter. It seems that every time I play, there's always a crowd that gathers. I made the comment to someone that "It isn't about how Daniel touched me during his life, it is how he is touching me now." I think that sentence is the best way I can put it. His legacy is touching myself so greatly, and yes, I am going to miss him so much, but I just feel such a holy annoiting being placed on my life in my worship because it just feels like I'm stepping up and being that worship leader that Daniel helped teach me to be.
When I was searching for a new youth group to go to, I found Remain and the at the time, I kept coming back just because the worship was so intense and all of the kids were so passionate and hungry for God. And because of that, Daniel showed me how worship is really done. He taught me so much in music and how to be a leader in worship.
---------------------------
After TheCall, I was on a major spiritual high considering I was just infilled with the Holy Spirit and I now have the gift of speaking in Tounges. Well all of that kinda came crashing down the morning I heard that Daniel was killed. Most people don't know it but Daniel was my best friend and I feel like I can honestly say that I was his too. For about a week, there was just nothing I wanted to do and grief was overwhelmingly taking over.
Just the other day I read about the five stages of grieving.
1. Denial/Surrealism - This isn't happening, I can't comprehend nor grasp it
2. Questioning - Why is this happening to me?
3. Anger - THIS ISN'T FAIR
4. Depression - No motivation and deep mourning
5. Acceptance - I'm ok with it all now
I moved through the first three stages all in about two hours that Thursday morning. However, a heavy depression began setting in to the point where I started withdrawing inside of myself and I had horrible thoughts and I started being mean to my friends and I just didn't want to talk about it at all.
One week later at Remain (which is my youth group on Thursday night) my youth leader thought it was best that we share with everyone on exactly how we had been feeling. It was a bad night for me. I just really felt that it was all too soon. I had said it a couple times that Sunday after the funeral that I didn't want the burial to come and go because I was afraid that all would be said and done and things would move on and all would be forgotten. I was terrified of this happening.
Afterwards, Marriana and Jordan and myself went over to Jordan's house and we were talking in my car and he started praying over me for comfort and that I would have God's Fire again. I began feeling such a powerful embrace and holy presence that was so calming that I've NEVER felt before. My fire just lit up so bright at that point and God moved HUGE! I began speaking in Tongues like I never have before. God even delivered a message through my mouth between four people!
At this point I was doing so much better and I still am now that my Fire is back. I am not, however, to stage five of the grieving process though. I have not exactly come to terms on acceptance - and I don't know if I will ever be able to.
-----------------------
Through this whole time, everyone has been telling me about how Daniel had this amazing mantle that he left behind and that I would be the one to pick it up and run with it. This is just really powerful to me. Obviously I cannot replace Daniel in personality or spirit but I feel like I am the one to continue on his ministry to others in worship. Ever since this, my worship has been so much more powerful - and frequent for that matter. It seems that every time I play, there's always a crowd that gathers. I made the comment to someone that "It isn't about how Daniel touched me during his life, it is how he is touching me now." I think that sentence is the best way I can put it. His legacy is touching myself so greatly, and yes, I am going to miss him so much, but I just feel such a holy annoiting being placed on my life in my worship because it just feels like I'm stepping up and being that worship leader that Daniel helped teach me to be.
When I was searching for a new youth group to go to, I found Remain and the at the time, I kept coming back just because the worship was so intense and all of the kids were so passionate and hungry for God. And because of that, Daniel showed me how worship is really done. He taught me so much in music and how to be a leader in worship.
---------------------------
I also wanted to share a little bit from my speech that I gave at his funeral.
"At one of the conferences that we were at, Nathan Isaacs had said, 'Since this [we] is the generation that has escaped death [in abortion], we do not fear death.' There is no better example of this than Daniel. Daniel was not even afraid of death because he was a warrior of God." And I can tell you the exact thing Daniel was probably doing as he was riding his bike that night: he was probably worshiping. He told me a few times that he rode his bike to pray and worship by himself for awhile.
I think that there is something to be said about someone who completes his mission here on Earth in 18 and a half years.
"At one of the conferences that we were at, Nathan Isaacs had said, 'Since this [we] is the generation that has escaped death [in abortion], we do not fear death.' There is no better example of this than Daniel. Daniel was not even afraid of death because he was a warrior of God." And I can tell you the exact thing Daniel was probably doing as he was riding his bike that night: he was probably worshiping. He told me a few times that he rode his bike to pray and worship by himself for awhile.
I think that there is something to be said about someone who completes his mission here on Earth in 18 and a half years.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Hearing from God
God did quite an amazing thing this night while I was at Church of the King. During the sermon, God had said, "Phillipians." I was just like... "Say what?" So I ignored it thinking that I just said it in my head rather than heard it. Well, a moment later, I hear "Phillipians." It just kept coming. So, by faith, I turned in my FireBible to Phillipians and I just happened to have a sticky note there with a verse marked: Phillipans 2:13.
"...for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose."
Simple verse, right? To you, maybe, but it applies to a much larger picture to me and the other guys from my circle of faith. See, lately we have been praying for purity in our daily lives in what we do - what we say, how we act, and even our thoughts. This is just one of those little reminders that God is still BIG and we are to be walking in His footsteps according to His plan. I guess I just can't effectively explain this one in words.
Shortly after this, God spoke to me a second time and said "Ezekiel." So now I'm thinking, alright, now this is cool. God is telling me some cool stuff here. So I flip to Ezekiel to find that there are 48 chapters there. I'm just thinking, 'how on Earth am I supposed to find what God wants to tell me out of 48 chapters?' So I prayed that God would give me a number. He pointed me to 20 so I turned to the second page of chapter 20 by happenstance to find a section title in bold letters: "Prophecy Against the South".
I don't want to spoil it for someone else but this is actually the answer to a dream from Cinnamon. (If you don't know the dream, than you'll have to ask her about it.) So anyway, I started reading this short little paragraph to see what it said.
"The Word of the Lord came to me: Son of man, set your face toward the south; preach against the south and prophesy against the forest of the southland. Say to the southern forest: 'Hear the word of the Lord. This is what the Sovereign Lord says: I am about to set fire to you, and it will consume all your trees, both green and dry. The blazing flame will not be quenched, and every face from south to north will be scorched by it. Everyone will see that I the Lord have kindled it; it will not be quenhed.'" ~Ezekiel 20:45-48
Now time for the context: In this time pertaining to this particular passage, the people in this land worshipped idols. So basically God was not very happy and plans to destroy the land because of it. However, afterwards, everyone will return back to God and praise only Him. I believe that this is a shift in the nation that will begin soon.
I'm not the most philisophical person, but I'm going to put this passage to present times. I think that we can compare the fire to hurricane Katrina and the damage done to the south, mainly Louisiana. Obviously with Mardis Gras, and the things that take place down there, New Orleans is not a holy city by any means. Same thing in the days of Ezekiel. But the Bible says that they will turn back to God and like verse 47 says, "from south to north" I believe that a revival will start and begin sweeping up the nation when it starts. So Cinnamon has recieved a dream that has called us to pray for the south, and I don't mean to ruin it for anyone or lead a different interpretation here but I believe that we need to start a prayer initiative to begin interceeding over the south of the United States because things are going to begin to change and it will sweep to the North.
Why wouldn't God begin a change - a revival - in probably the most unholy city (other than Los Vegas) in the United States?
"...for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose."
Simple verse, right? To you, maybe, but it applies to a much larger picture to me and the other guys from my circle of faith. See, lately we have been praying for purity in our daily lives in what we do - what we say, how we act, and even our thoughts. This is just one of those little reminders that God is still BIG and we are to be walking in His footsteps according to His plan. I guess I just can't effectively explain this one in words.
Shortly after this, God spoke to me a second time and said "Ezekiel." So now I'm thinking, alright, now this is cool. God is telling me some cool stuff here. So I flip to Ezekiel to find that there are 48 chapters there. I'm just thinking, 'how on Earth am I supposed to find what God wants to tell me out of 48 chapters?' So I prayed that God would give me a number. He pointed me to 20 so I turned to the second page of chapter 20 by happenstance to find a section title in bold letters: "Prophecy Against the South".
I don't want to spoil it for someone else but this is actually the answer to a dream from Cinnamon. (If you don't know the dream, than you'll have to ask her about it.) So anyway, I started reading this short little paragraph to see what it said.
"The Word of the Lord came to me: Son of man, set your face toward the south; preach against the south and prophesy against the forest of the southland. Say to the southern forest: 'Hear the word of the Lord. This is what the Sovereign Lord says: I am about to set fire to you, and it will consume all your trees, both green and dry. The blazing flame will not be quenched, and every face from south to north will be scorched by it. Everyone will see that I the Lord have kindled it; it will not be quenhed.'" ~Ezekiel 20:45-48
Now time for the context: In this time pertaining to this particular passage, the people in this land worshipped idols. So basically God was not very happy and plans to destroy the land because of it. However, afterwards, everyone will return back to God and praise only Him. I believe that this is a shift in the nation that will begin soon.
I'm not the most philisophical person, but I'm going to put this passage to present times. I think that we can compare the fire to hurricane Katrina and the damage done to the south, mainly Louisiana. Obviously with Mardis Gras, and the things that take place down there, New Orleans is not a holy city by any means. Same thing in the days of Ezekiel. But the Bible says that they will turn back to God and like verse 47 says, "from south to north" I believe that a revival will start and begin sweeping up the nation when it starts. So Cinnamon has recieved a dream that has called us to pray for the south, and I don't mean to ruin it for anyone or lead a different interpretation here but I believe that we need to start a prayer initiative to begin interceeding over the south of the United States because things are going to begin to change and it will sweep to the North.
Why wouldn't God begin a change - a revival - in probably the most unholy city (other than Los Vegas) in the United States?
Labels: Posts of my Faith
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Vision of Abortion
"In front of me sits a baby that is larger in size than me. Behind him is a large wooden door that stands wide open. As I slowly approach the door and lay my hand on it to move it, the door suddenly slams shut."
This is the first vision that I have ever had and honestly I don't know the true meaning. I have prayed about the 'translation' and I'm trusting that God will tell me soon. I really do believe that this was a movement - a transformation - to end abortion.
This is the first vision that I have ever had and honestly I don't know the true meaning. I have prayed about the 'translation' and I'm trusting that God will tell me soon. I really do believe that this was a movement - a transformation - to end abortion.
Labels: Posts of my Faith
God's Calling on My Life
Lately I have been praying that God would really begin to show me what he has in store and that He would give me multiple gifts of the Holy Spirit and supernatural abilities. How many of you know that God hears, and answers prayers, amen? YES!
Lately, I have not been able to stop praying in the Spirit. Even at work, whether or not I'm alone, I'll start praying in the Spirit. I feel that there are going to be powerful things happening when I begin praying.
About 20 minutes ago, I was working on my summer reading assignment just working away quitely on my laptop when I feel this urge placed on my heart. It just kept saying, "Call [AppleJacks] and pray with him." So, being an obedient servant of God, I call AppleJacks and say, "This is going to sound a little strange, but is something wrong?"
Sure enough, God had told me that there was something that needed to be prayed for and He called me to do it.
Lately, I have not been able to stop praying in the Spirit. Even at work, whether or not I'm alone, I'll start praying in the Spirit. I feel that there are going to be powerful things happening when I begin praying.
About 20 minutes ago, I was working on my summer reading assignment just working away quitely on my laptop when I feel this urge placed on my heart. It just kept saying, "Call [AppleJacks] and pray with him." So, being an obedient servant of God, I call AppleJacks and say, "This is going to sound a little strange, but is something wrong?"
Sure enough, God had told me that there was something that needed to be prayed for and He called me to do it.
Labels: Posts of my Faith
Sunday, August 17, 2008
My Testimony from TheCall 2008
God has done an amazing thing in my life and this is the praise report. I really wanted to share this testimony to everyone who reads it in hopes that they find it encouraging in their relationship with God and that they will see how awesome God is.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008 was a night that I will never forget. It was about 11:45 PM when I had just laid down to go to sleep. Somewhere around there, my roommate had made a comment how his shoulder had just spontaneously twitched. At that same instant, mine had done so too. This seemed a little eerie. I then felt the room begin to grow darker and something like a black cloud made its presence. I told my roommate, JD, that we needed to pray. We both sat up in bed and begin to break the spiritual forces that were there. We began casting out demons from the house and praying that blessings and peace from the Lord would take its place.
Two years ago, I had another experience with a spirit in this very room. It was the spirit of sexual temptation and immorality. I did not want that to come over my life again so JD began to pray over me that it would no longer exist.
We decided that we needed to wake up the other men in our group that were sleeping in another area of the house to come and join our intercession. The instant that the other two guys entered the room, both JD and myself began shivering and shaking like we were experiencing cold temperatures that not even an ice age could fathom. We continued to shatter demons and spirits with their grips of death wrapped around our necks and pray blessings over the home in which we were staying. Then, as God began to move, we began to repent of things that had taken place in our lives and prayed that God would start to move in our lives.
After about 15 or 20 minutes of this, we thought that our hearts we clear. The other guys went back to sleep, but I made a remark to my roommate that I just felt such a peace of God that the spirit was forced out. I said, "I wish that I could feel that peace too." I asked him if he would like to me pray over him or just wait until the morning since it was around midnight and we had to wake up early the next morning. He said that it could wait for another time but I said, "You can't wait with these things. If you wait, it is only going to get worse."
So once again we entered into intense prayer and I declared that the spirit of sexual immorality and temptations, "would be ripped out by the roots and never return." By this point, we began to break other chains in our lives. The chains of crude joking, the chains of impure thoughts, the chains of impure speech were all broken.
I believe that it has been over a year now since I have been praying for the baptism of the Holy Spirit and to receive the gift of Tongues. So somewhere around midnight on Thursday, August 14, AppleJacks (who we woke up a second time to come pray with us - God Bless him) and JD began praying over me for the baptism in the Holy Spirit.
I began pressing deeper and deeper into God that he would release it upon me. I could feel the power of God begin to fill the room as the other lifted their voices in Prayer Language. Soon my mouth began to go numb and soon it overtook my entire face. It traveled down my neck and into my arms. My trembling hands soon became heavy and I didn't have the strength to stand on my weakening legs. I was beginning to become overwhelmed with the present power that my body was just trembling before the Lord.
We then puts our arms around each other and continued to pray. JD said, "Just between me and Brice right now, God is giving you an embrace from Heaven." As JD put his arms around me, I felt such a power close in on my body. My body felt like it would fall like iron to the floor, but the arms of God were physically wrapped around me and I felt like a string puppet being suspended by His hand.
After close to an hour of praying for the baptism, we were approaching the one o'clock hour. JD and AppleJacks kept telling me to just open my mouth and God will move my lips. I knew I just had to speak what was on me heart but there was nothing there to let out. JD had looked over at the clock and actualy saw it change from 12:59 a.m. to 1:00 a.m. and said, "Brice, it is one o'clock and God is in this room and it is time that you are filled with Holy Spirit."
I felt something start to rise from my chest and into my mouth. The best was to descibe it is taht feeling like you are holding yourself back from throwing up - but this was a word. In that very instant - Thursday, August 14, 2008 at 1:00 a.m. I began to speak Tongues of the Holy Spirit. As I did, AppleJacks confirmed it, "Yep, you got it, that's it."
Keeping in mind that we were in the basement of a house with other sleeping guests upstair, we lifted an extremly quite shout of praise unto the Lord. The only thing I could do was lift my hands above me head and take as much effort as I had to clap without making any sound.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We went to the International Leadership Embassy conference at 6 p.m. on Thursday. During some intense worship, I was able to dip into the Holy Language about five times but only when I would begin to pray really fast. At this point, I could only say one syllable repeatedly. The next evening, during the second session of the Generating One conference, God began to teach me to say other words and He taught me how to pray in Tongues without first praying in English.
TheCall was on Saturday and I knew that it would be a life changing and spirit filling day. We arrived on the National Mall at 8:00 a.m. for the pre-worship service that led into TheCall. I began praying in Tongues and I couldn't stop until I fell asleep 16 hours later. TheCall was an intense 14 hour fast in which I was completly consumed with fire for the whole time.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Even on the van ride home - a 9 hour drive - I was still enfilled with the Holy Spirit and could not help but randomly break out into Tongues. I'll tell you what, it makes the trip go so much faster when you are in your own personal sanctuary while listening to contemporary Christian music on an MP3 player and praying in the Spirit.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I still have not been able to fully withdraw from the Spirit but I say, "I don't want to lose this at all. I will not silence the Holy Spirit from speaking through me."
Once I got home from the trip I was chekcing all 40 of my emails when something came from God.tv. They had sent out a prayer request for one of their team members who had just suffered from marital seperation. Both him and his wife were in high positions at God.tv. Normally, like any other email, I would just think, 'oh that's sad and terrible' and I would delete the email and move on. But as I continued to read to small letter, I just began to speak out in Holy Tongues and I just lifted them up to God and asked Him to rebuild their marriage.
Now why am I telling all of you this? For the first time, God has increased my compassion for others and I believe He is beginning to reveal his plan for my life to me.
Another one happened when I was watching tv just a couple hours ago. An presidential candidacy ad for Barrack Obama came on and they were talking about all his plans that make him look like a good guy and I said out loud, "...but he doesn't care about the millions of murdered innocent souls that cannot cry out for themsleves" and I began to speak in Prayer Language again.
I believe that God is working on my heart to become a true prayer warrior for Him to show compassion and pray for those who are hurting and in need. I believe that God is going to begin giving me gifts of miracles and healing as I rise up and be an instrument that He would use.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008 was a night that I will never forget. It was about 11:45 PM when I had just laid down to go to sleep. Somewhere around there, my roommate had made a comment how his shoulder had just spontaneously twitched. At that same instant, mine had done so too. This seemed a little eerie. I then felt the room begin to grow darker and something like a black cloud made its presence. I told my roommate, JD, that we needed to pray. We both sat up in bed and begin to break the spiritual forces that were there. We began casting out demons from the house and praying that blessings and peace from the Lord would take its place.
Two years ago, I had another experience with a spirit in this very room. It was the spirit of sexual temptation and immorality. I did not want that to come over my life again so JD began to pray over me that it would no longer exist.
We decided that we needed to wake up the other men in our group that were sleeping in another area of the house to come and join our intercession. The instant that the other two guys entered the room, both JD and myself began shivering and shaking like we were experiencing cold temperatures that not even an ice age could fathom. We continued to shatter demons and spirits with their grips of death wrapped around our necks and pray blessings over the home in which we were staying. Then, as God began to move, we began to repent of things that had taken place in our lives and prayed that God would start to move in our lives.
After about 15 or 20 minutes of this, we thought that our hearts we clear. The other guys went back to sleep, but I made a remark to my roommate that I just felt such a peace of God that the spirit was forced out. I said, "I wish that I could feel that peace too." I asked him if he would like to me pray over him or just wait until the morning since it was around midnight and we had to wake up early the next morning. He said that it could wait for another time but I said, "You can't wait with these things. If you wait, it is only going to get worse."
So once again we entered into intense prayer and I declared that the spirit of sexual immorality and temptations, "would be ripped out by the roots and never return." By this point, we began to break other chains in our lives. The chains of crude joking, the chains of impure thoughts, the chains of impure speech were all broken.
I believe that it has been over a year now since I have been praying for the baptism of the Holy Spirit and to receive the gift of Tongues. So somewhere around midnight on Thursday, August 14, AppleJacks (who we woke up a second time to come pray with us - God Bless him) and JD began praying over me for the baptism in the Holy Spirit.
I began pressing deeper and deeper into God that he would release it upon me. I could feel the power of God begin to fill the room as the other lifted their voices in Prayer Language. Soon my mouth began to go numb and soon it overtook my entire face. It traveled down my neck and into my arms. My trembling hands soon became heavy and I didn't have the strength to stand on my weakening legs. I was beginning to become overwhelmed with the present power that my body was just trembling before the Lord.
We then puts our arms around each other and continued to pray. JD said, "Just between me and Brice right now, God is giving you an embrace from Heaven." As JD put his arms around me, I felt such a power close in on my body. My body felt like it would fall like iron to the floor, but the arms of God were physically wrapped around me and I felt like a string puppet being suspended by His hand.
After close to an hour of praying for the baptism, we were approaching the one o'clock hour. JD and AppleJacks kept telling me to just open my mouth and God will move my lips. I knew I just had to speak what was on me heart but there was nothing there to let out. JD had looked over at the clock and actualy saw it change from 12:59 a.m. to 1:00 a.m. and said, "Brice, it is one o'clock and God is in this room and it is time that you are filled with Holy Spirit."
I felt something start to rise from my chest and into my mouth. The best was to descibe it is taht feeling like you are holding yourself back from throwing up - but this was a word. In that very instant - Thursday, August 14, 2008 at 1:00 a.m. I began to speak Tongues of the Holy Spirit. As I did, AppleJacks confirmed it, "Yep, you got it, that's it."
Keeping in mind that we were in the basement of a house with other sleeping guests upstair, we lifted an extremly quite shout of praise unto the Lord. The only thing I could do was lift my hands above me head and take as much effort as I had to clap without making any sound.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We went to the International Leadership Embassy conference at 6 p.m. on Thursday. During some intense worship, I was able to dip into the Holy Language about five times but only when I would begin to pray really fast. At this point, I could only say one syllable repeatedly. The next evening, during the second session of the Generating One conference, God began to teach me to say other words and He taught me how to pray in Tongues without first praying in English.
TheCall was on Saturday and I knew that it would be a life changing and spirit filling day. We arrived on the National Mall at 8:00 a.m. for the pre-worship service that led into TheCall. I began praying in Tongues and I couldn't stop until I fell asleep 16 hours later. TheCall was an intense 14 hour fast in which I was completly consumed with fire for the whole time.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Even on the van ride home - a 9 hour drive - I was still enfilled with the Holy Spirit and could not help but randomly break out into Tongues. I'll tell you what, it makes the trip go so much faster when you are in your own personal sanctuary while listening to contemporary Christian music on an MP3 player and praying in the Spirit.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I still have not been able to fully withdraw from the Spirit but I say, "I don't want to lose this at all. I will not silence the Holy Spirit from speaking through me."
Once I got home from the trip I was chekcing all 40 of my emails when something came from God.tv. They had sent out a prayer request for one of their team members who had just suffered from marital seperation. Both him and his wife were in high positions at God.tv. Normally, like any other email, I would just think, 'oh that's sad and terrible' and I would delete the email and move on. But as I continued to read to small letter, I just began to speak out in Holy Tongues and I just lifted them up to God and asked Him to rebuild their marriage.
Now why am I telling all of you this? For the first time, God has increased my compassion for others and I believe He is beginning to reveal his plan for my life to me.
Another one happened when I was watching tv just a couple hours ago. An presidential candidacy ad for Barrack Obama came on and they were talking about all his plans that make him look like a good guy and I said out loud, "...but he doesn't care about the millions of murdered innocent souls that cannot cry out for themsleves" and I began to speak in Prayer Language again.
I believe that God is working on my heart to become a true prayer warrior for Him to show compassion and pray for those who are hurting and in need. I believe that God is going to begin giving me gifts of miracles and healing as I rise up and be an instrument that He would use.
Friday, July 18, 2008
100th post ~ A special time, a milestone, a celebration
Don't worry. You are on the right blog. I am happy to anounce that this is my 100th blog post. I can't believe that it is finally here. It feels like my 21st birthday or something. Well you're probably wondering what's with the radical new look. Well my friends, I found some awesome new templates and decided to change it for this special event.
Honestly, I've been putting off updating for awhile because I needed some time to cook up something good for this post. Doing the whole one hundred things about me is quite a bit much but I will atleast attempt to list some things. To make up for the shortened list, I will also leave you all with some of my favorite quotes - many of which were said by my friends, which would be you.
Ok, here we go. (In no particular order - some which may be obvious)
1. I'm a very technical person
2. I love making music
3. I have a dream to go jogging in the rain
4. I can actually see without my glasses
5. My eyes are an awesome blue.
6. Most people think I am older than I actually am
7. Sometimes, I take too many liberties than I should
8. I suffer with lack of motivation sometimes
9. I feel very blessed - some people mistake it for being spoiled
10. I am a very self conscientious person
11. I have low self confidence/esteem sometimes
12. I carry grudges although I know better
13. I bottle up my deep emotions (especially mourning)
14. I can usually over analyze anything
15. My imagination is very vast
16. I'm a sticler on grammar and mechanics in written text
17. Sometimes I question if God is there
18. I worry a lot of what others think of me
19. There are quite a few things that annoy me easily
20. I have too many petpeeves
21. Sometimes I hate the way I look
22. I usually know a bad idea when I see one
23. I love taking things apart to learn how they work
24. I usually try to be as helpful as possible
25. I am deathly afraid of other becoming angry/yelling at me
26. I have begun to overcome the fear of heights
27. I'm an absolute sucker for butter pecan ice cream
28. I can become stressed quite easily
29. Most people don't know it, but I worry alot
30. I get nervous before I make a phone call
30.b. I 'script' a phone call before making it
32. I have more friends who are girls than who are guys
33. I AM DYING TO GET MARRIED
34. I usually hate spending money
35. Sometimes, I just don't care
36. I'm afraid to go off to college
37. I have a hard time throwing anything away - I'm a pack rat
38. I fear dirt - I think we all know this one
39. I hate thunderstorms at night
40. Being alone in the dark freaks me out - That's pretty much my biggest fear
41. I don't like creapy basements
42. I used to be the one kid in class that no one liked
43. I never study for a test
44. I enjoy watching chick flicks
45. I hate not wearing shoes
46. I slept with a stuffed animal until I was 13
47. I nearly dispise reading
48. I don't like asking people for things - especially money
49. I always enjoy something more when I know everyone else is having a good time
50. It really really really disappoints me when something isn't as good as it sounds.
51. I get kind of nervous about graduation parties where I may not know anyone there.
52. I always find it a good idea to make friends with people in authority so you can easily 'pull strings'
53. I no longer have 'hyper issues'
54. I can still laugh for no reason
55. Everything seems better when I'm in a good mood
56. I hardly ever get headaches
57. Sometimes I get dizzy standing up on a regular basis
58. Because of my height, body parts can 'fall asleep' very easily
59. Pretty much any fast food goes right through me
60. I'm a slow runner
61. No one else can skip like me... :-)
62. I have not once removed my LIFE band in over a year
63. The first thing I spend a paycheck on is tithe
64. Complaining is something that I need to work on
65. I have only had one, true and extremely close girlfriend
66. I am the only teenager who has difficulty sending a text message
67. Most of the time, my right eye drifts at night
Well I got most of them anyway. Here are some of my favorite quotes:
Word Association - brain freeze: Mind flies at 1000 mph and just like MS Windows, it then locks up and crashes.
There's always an undifined variable called reality. - Smash Lab
- I'm not black...
- Ever heard of white chocolate brother?
It definitely affects me and I don't appriciate it.
Sometimes the cure is a clean conscience. - Fun with Dick and Jane
I'm mearly remarking the paradox of asking a masked man of who he is. - V for Vendetta
If you are looking for the guilty, you need to look in the mirror. - V for Vendetta
People should not be afraid of their governments; Governments should be afraid of their people. - V for Vendetta
Writers use lies to tell the truth, while politicians use them to cover the truth up. - V for Vendetta
Vi Veri Veriversum Vivus Vici - By the power of truth, I, while living, have conquered the power of the universe. - V for Vendetta
-Images in the night flash across the sky. Visions and fantasies revealed as thy visage is painted amongst the clouds. I have always adorned thee. Translation: I was looking at the sky when your face showed among the clouds
- yeah, I think I saw you in a puddle once
"at all events, I really must obtain again with work, goodbye my blue of a hair of blonde observed few pigon of sleeping bag"
YOU ARE MY HERO
LOL
that didnt happen
hahahaha
AWKWARD
-Why do you get all the good ideas?
AppleJacks: "Cause im just that good"
"I feel like we're two old farts who have known each other for a really long time."
"You make tuplips perverted. You have relations with tuplips?"
Now I know not to use Negro spirituals as hints to you guys anymore. ~Mr. Cloud
-Am I gonna have to keep one eye open..?
-Do you want to?
what?
I mean WHAT?
Sorry I didn't mean to bring on a sudden burst of insecurity - Kelso
That would be something right there, I think I would crap a brick if he said yes
"City Morgue, you kill 'em we chill 'em" ~Apple Jacks
Preparation meets procrastination
No Brice, you are my first priority
I was as dumb as a freakin box of rocks
I'm an accident-prone kid... It happens
It is possible to have a friend of the opposite sex.... "Blasphemer!" ~House
She's not a friend of the opposite sex, she's a different species. She'll eat your head off after she's done with you. ~House
Before you get better you have to hit rock bottom ~House
I was not pandering.. I just told her what she wanted to hear. ~Music & Lyrics
'Cause at the end of that road is a culdesac of vulnerability ~ Fraiser
"...I could climb you like a scratching post" ~ Fraiser
"We have one or two of them depending on how glutunous we are" - The Late Show
Ugh! The Bigness! ~ benrr101
"I logged it here in my journal... 5 AM - Awake - 'Blissful confusion. Somethings happened, but what?'" ~ Niles from Fraiser
"They're already dead. Gunshots mean people die." ~ The Happening
Honestly, I've been putting off updating for awhile because I needed some time to cook up something good for this post. Doing the whole one hundred things about me is quite a bit much but I will atleast attempt to list some things. To make up for the shortened list, I will also leave you all with some of my favorite quotes - many of which were said by my friends, which would be you.
Ok, here we go. (In no particular order - some which may be obvious)
1. I'm a very technical person
2. I love making music
3. I have a dream to go jogging in the rain
4. I can actually see without my glasses
5. My eyes are an awesome blue.
6. Most people think I am older than I actually am
7. Sometimes, I take too many liberties than I should
8. I suffer with lack of motivation sometimes
9. I feel very blessed - some people mistake it for being spoiled
10. I am a very self conscientious person
11. I have low self confidence/esteem sometimes
12. I carry grudges although I know better
13. I bottle up my deep emotions (especially mourning)
14. I can usually over analyze anything
15. My imagination is very vast
16. I'm a sticler on grammar and mechanics in written text
17. Sometimes I question if God is there
18. I worry a lot of what others think of me
19. There are quite a few things that annoy me easily
20. I have too many petpeeves
21. Sometimes I hate the way I look
22. I usually know a bad idea when I see one
23. I love taking things apart to learn how they work
24. I usually try to be as helpful as possible
25. I am deathly afraid of other becoming angry/yelling at me
26. I have begun to overcome the fear of heights
27. I'm an absolute sucker for butter pecan ice cream
28. I can become stressed quite easily
29. Most people don't know it, but I worry alot
30. I get nervous before I make a phone call
30.b. I 'script' a phone call before making it
32. I have more friends who are girls than who are guys
33. I AM DYING TO GET MARRIED
34. I usually hate spending money
35. Sometimes, I just don't care
36. I'm afraid to go off to college
37. I have a hard time throwing anything away - I'm a pack rat
38. I fear dirt - I think we all know this one
39. I hate thunderstorms at night
40. Being alone in the dark freaks me out - That's pretty much my biggest fear
41. I don't like creapy basements
42. I used to be the one kid in class that no one liked
43. I never study for a test
44. I enjoy watching chick flicks
45. I hate not wearing shoes
46. I slept with a stuffed animal until I was 13
47. I nearly dispise reading
48. I don't like asking people for things - especially money
49. I always enjoy something more when I know everyone else is having a good time
50. It really really really disappoints me when something isn't as good as it sounds.
51. I get kind of nervous about graduation parties where I may not know anyone there.
52. I always find it a good idea to make friends with people in authority so you can easily 'pull strings'
53. I no longer have 'hyper issues'
54. I can still laugh for no reason
55. Everything seems better when I'm in a good mood
56. I hardly ever get headaches
57. Sometimes I get dizzy standing up on a regular basis
58. Because of my height, body parts can 'fall asleep' very easily
59. Pretty much any fast food goes right through me
60. I'm a slow runner
61. No one else can skip like me... :-)
62. I have not once removed my LIFE band in over a year
63. The first thing I spend a paycheck on is tithe
64. Complaining is something that I need to work on
65. I have only had one, true and extremely close girlfriend
66. I am the only teenager who has difficulty sending a text message
67. Most of the time, my right eye drifts at night
Well I got most of them anyway. Here are some of my favorite quotes:
Word Association - brain freeze: Mind flies at 1000 mph and just like MS Windows, it then locks up and crashes.
There's always an undifined variable called reality. - Smash Lab
- I'm not black...
- Ever heard of white chocolate brother?
It definitely affects me and I don't appriciate it.
Sometimes the cure is a clean conscience. - Fun with Dick and Jane
I'm mearly remarking the paradox of asking a masked man of who he is. - V for Vendetta
If you are looking for the guilty, you need to look in the mirror. - V for Vendetta
People should not be afraid of their governments; Governments should be afraid of their people. - V for Vendetta
Writers use lies to tell the truth, while politicians use them to cover the truth up. - V for Vendetta
Vi Veri Veriversum Vivus Vici - By the power of truth, I, while living, have conquered the power of the universe. - V for Vendetta
-Images in the night flash across the sky. Visions and fantasies revealed as thy visage is painted amongst the clouds. I have always adorned thee. Translation: I was looking at the sky when your face showed among the clouds
- yeah, I think I saw you in a puddle once
"at all events, I really must obtain again with work, goodbye my blue of a hair of blonde observed few pigon of sleeping bag"
YOU ARE MY HERO
LOL
that didnt happen
hahahaha
AWKWARD
-Why do you get all the good ideas?
AppleJacks: "Cause im just that good"
"I feel like we're two old farts who have known each other for a really long time."
"You make tuplips perverted. You have relations with tuplips?"
Now I know not to use Negro spirituals as hints to you guys anymore. ~Mr. Cloud
-Am I gonna have to keep one eye open..?
-Do you want to?
what?
I mean WHAT?
Sorry I didn't mean to bring on a sudden burst of insecurity - Kelso
That would be something right there, I think I would crap a brick if he said yes
"City Morgue, you kill 'em we chill 'em" ~Apple Jacks
Preparation meets procrastination
No Brice, you are my first priority
I was as dumb as a freakin box of rocks
I'm an accident-prone kid... It happens
It is possible to have a friend of the opposite sex.... "Blasphemer!" ~House
She's not a friend of the opposite sex, she's a different species. She'll eat your head off after she's done with you. ~House
Before you get better you have to hit rock bottom ~House
I was not pandering.. I just told her what she wanted to hear. ~Music & Lyrics
'Cause at the end of that road is a culdesac of vulnerability ~ Fraiser
"...I could climb you like a scratching post" ~ Fraiser
"We have one or two of them depending on how glutunous we are" - The Late Show
Ugh! The Bigness! ~ benrr101
"I logged it here in my journal... 5 AM - Awake - 'Blissful confusion. Somethings happened, but what?'" ~ Niles from Fraiser
"They're already dead. Gunshots mean people die." ~ The Happening
Labels: Posts of my Personal Life
